The packaging insert for the last antibiotic says that "adverse reactions" include diarrhea, nausea, abnormal taste, abdominal pain and discomfort, and headache. Then it adds, "Transient CNS events include anxiety, behavioral changes, confusional states, convulsions, depersonalization, disorientation, hallucinations, insomnia, nightmare, psychosis, tinnitus, tremor and vertigo.... Events usually resolve with discontinuation of the drug." I deliberately don't tell Ray what to expect from a drug -- on the basis that we live up or down to our expectations. Meanwhile, I watch for his comments sabout what he is feeling. He stopped taking the antibiotic last Monday -- today is the 7th day without medication. But he's having weird dreams. Last night he "went to Africa". Two nights ago he dreamed that he had died. He has to remind himself that these are dreams, not reality. He's having stomach pains and complaining about diarrhea -- in addition to the nausea that he gets with everything. Today he asked, "Is this normal, or is it my imagination? Am I working myself into these reactions?" I guess we can mark Clarithromycin in big, red letters as a drug we DEFINITELY do not give Ray.

Today will be better. He's thinking about eating. Tomorrow will be even better.

Meanwhile, he is still among the living. This is a pretty big accomplishment based on the worst case expectations we were given at each diagnosis. Give thanks!!!

Keep praying!

Fridday was as good day! He asks for soft foods because his mouth is still sore, but otherwise feels good. He tested ice cream again, but that doesn't want to stay down -- although yogurt does. Besides, the sun is out and the weather is warm enough to open the windows. That always does good things for the spirit.

We had two very pleasant surprises -- an old friend that we have not seen in what seems like forever dropped by to visit, and a grown-up foster kid now living in Sonora also dropped in. It was nice to have the visits.

Life looks up. Keep praying!

Rash. Tongue discoloration. Sores in the mouth and throat. vomiting. Abdominal pain. Headache. All known side effects of Clarithromycin, the antibiotic Ray was given in ER last Thursday. These are the ones he HAD. There are others. Guess we can drop this drug from the list of acceptable treatments. Maybe it's time to rethink his reaction to the various penicillin compounds.

Today he did the first of his weekly blood draws, a precaution now that chemotherapy is done so that some crisis doesn't sneak up on us and land him back in the hospital again. Good thing. He's ALREADY in need of 3 more units of blood. If you are in the Delta Blood Bank service area and able to give a replacement unit for RAYMOND H. STEVENS at SONORA REGIONAL MEDICAL CENTER, your gift will be appreciated. Thank goodness we did the initial draw in Groveland. I would have been really angry if we had gone to Sonora for the initial draw, then had to go all the way BACK to Sonora for type, cross-match and banding in preparation for receiving those three units tomorrow. As it was, we just made one trip to Sonora, albeit at 5:30 p.m. We're back tomorrow morning for his 6.5 hour stint.

It's a dark and dreary Sunday, with misty fog hanging in the trees as if we are sitting in the middle of a cloud. Yet the weather forecasters are predicting 80 degree weather by midweek.

We must have finally gotten the food cycle right, for Ray seems to be having another day when he is eating more than is coming back up, and I don't hear the persistent coughing from downstairs.

We give thanks for days like this one that are reasonably good, even though he doesn't feel like going outside -- I don't feel much like playing outside today, either! We pray that he will be well and back to carving this summer.

What does the catch-phrase say? We don't believe in miracles, we depend on them! Keep praying!

The pharmacist told us on Thursday, "The more food you have lying in the stomach when you take [either the Potassium or antibiotic] pill, the easier the meidcation will be on the digestiv system." So today we experimented. Begin with something for nausea. Add something light -- in this case, a blend from the juicer followed by 4 oz. of yogurt, designed to replenish the good bacterial that all the meds are wiping out of Ray's intestinal track. Follow with something down-home and stick-to-the-stomach -- bisquits and gravy. Take first pill. An hour later, add a second helping of b&g with one grapefruit, sectioned. Take second pill. At lunch time, feed the last of the b&g. No pills. Nap. Begin sequence again about 4:30 pm -- nausea med, Nexium to please the stomach, more yogurt, ignore the "but I'm full" complaints, add antibiotic, serve dinner (salad, pasta with turkey sausage), add potassium. Breathe large sigh of relief. Plunk out night pills (nausea, folic acid, multi-vitamin, blood pressure) and a .5 liter bottle of water. Pray. Oh yes, add cough syrup or benedryl no more often than every 4 hours. So far it has worked. The nausea has been minimal.

Please God, let this regemine work tomorrow, too.

Keep praying!

I cannot believe I forgot the Zofran this morning for the post-chemotherapy nausea. It almost created a disaster, but Ray was able to finally keep down first an Ativan, then a Zofran, and ultimately enough food to take both the morning antibiotic and the potassium. He only has four more days of Potassium, and with luck will not have to take any more. That will certainly make the feeding-antibiotic cycle easier to manage!

We give thanks that he only needed 3 units this time, and that another disaster did not leap out of yesterday's ER visit. Meanwhile, Keep Praying!

The last chemotherapy is done. It was a day late, but it is done. We were all surprised that on Wednesday morning Dr. declared his red cell count was high enough that he did not need any more blood and could get his last dose of Alimpta. After lunch at McDonald's (a plain, 89 cent hamburger), he came home and slept -- no sleep in the hospital when you are receiving blood, as they check vitals every 15 minues .......

This morning?? He complained of a scratchy throat and was running a fever of 100.9. We reported to Dr., whose protocol is that labs are done to check for infection any time a fever exceeds 100.4. So we spent another day in ithe hospital emergency room, only to learn that the labs show no apparent infection (although they did a blood culture which will take about a week to 'hatch') and put him on a broad spectrum antibiotic "just in case". Finding an antibiotic that doesn't make Ray nauseous or break out in spots is no small feat. This time we are trying a new entry in the "mycin" family. But it is something else that must be taken on a full stomach, and cannot be taken within a hour of potassium -- which he is also taking. So he must eat, take a pill, wait at least an hour, eat again, and immediately take a second pill. Not bad if you only have to do it once a day. Ray, who isn't eating much anyway, has to do this TWICE each day!

The scans in Modesto to see what affect the Alimpta has had on his cancer will be in about two weeks. If it is working as well getting rid of cancer as it has red blood cells ....

Keep praying! Give thanks!

He's back in the hosptial getting more blood. At least three units, probably four, possibly five. We can hope that the Alimpta is as effective at eliminating the cancer as it is at elimintating the red blood cells. He was not pleased, but fully expected to be re-admitted today. In fact, according to the doctor, he is not really ADMITTED to the hospital, just being given a bed in order to administer the blood and the associated fluids. The expectation is that he will get that final dose of Alimpta in the near future. We give thanks that he continues to have the strength to fight this disease.

Please -- keep praying!

It is a gray, drippy Easter in Groveland, a good day for doing quiet, around-the-house activities. Not at all condusive to sunrise services outdoors!

Ray was running a temperature earlier this morning. It's interesting -- he will break into a dripping sweat for apparently no reason and turn out to be running a fever in the 100-101 range. Then after a bit the sweats go away and so does the fever. It will frequently happen during one of his bad coughing spells. A good question for the doctor.

We continue to look with hope toward the last chemotherapy on Tuesday.

Keep praying!

It has been a very quiet Saturday. Ray has slept away most of it, for his stomach in fluttery and he says his throat is sore, although the is not running a fever. Darn. We are so very close to the end of this treatment cycle, he doesn't need another bout with an external bug to complicate matters. I hope he didn't pick up something on Thursday when we ventured out. Current order: THERE WILL BE NO ONE ELSE IN THIS HOUSE UNTIL AFTER I FINISH TREATMENT! The emphasis is Ray's!!

May you Easter be blessed.
Keep praying!

This time the delay belongs to the weather. It was glorious yesterday! The sun was shining, and it was warm outside, almost short-sleeved weather. I sweltered in a turtleneck with long sleeves under a light jacket. Ray got up and went out for lunch, the first time since his second chemotherapy in mid-February. At least the firs time that he has been out for something other than a visit to the doctor. He said it was GOOD to be out again.

Today he is staying at home and watching the collection from Netflix that arrived in yesterday's mail. He fussed that they must be all MY choices because he had not been on the computer enough to move all of my selections from the top of the list. Was he suprised! Three films that were clearly not my cup of tea!! I, on the other hand, went with a friend to the blood bank in Modesto to replace some of the blood Ray has been using. I fully expect that he will need at least one and possibly two units next week -- but we will have to wait until the blood tests on Tuesday for the doctor's opinion.

At the blood bank they are making a big pitch to protect yourself from West Nile Virus, which arrived in this part of California last summer. The first recommendation? Use a mosquito repellent containing DEET. What about us folks who are allergic to DEET? My one encouter with DEET produced a rash that rivaled a bad case of poison oak! Never again!

We're enjoying the relative "wellness" of these last few days before the last chemotherapy treatment, and hoping that the next set of PET/CT scans will show that all the hot spots are eliminated.

Keep praying!

You can blame today's delay in posting on computers -- power failures yesterday, unlinking of our local area network, beastly slow downloads via dialup (one of the penalties of living in an area everyone describes as "remote, rural"), and the need to do a bit of routine maintenance ....

We have reached the "better every day" stage following any chemo-therapy treatment -- at least the ones that are not followed by an attack of the current flu bug! We are hoping that by Thursday he will feel good enough to go with me for a birthday lunch with friends.

The mantra for the week: One More chemotherapy.
Keep praying!

Our water bill this month contained yet another notice that the District violated a drinking water standard. When I was working for the Hetchy, we told people that ON THE HETCHY this was not particularly significant. In fact, the HETCHY delivers some of the hightest quality drinking water availabe in the United States. A localized violation at one of the small, relatively little-used locations (usually the result of a brief spate of unusually heavy use like the presence of lots of visitors over a weekend) caused a violation on the entire Hetchy system -- even those the whole system was not actually affected.

The Groveland Community Service District [GCSD] numbers are a cat of a very different color. Levels of trihalomethanes and haloacetic acids are AVERAGING more than double the drinking water standard. Is this a Hetchy problem? No. It is a direct result of how the water is treated by GCSD -- or more precisely, how accurately treatment is controlled and monitored by GCSD. What do high levels of trihalomethanes and haloacetic acids mean to the consumer? To quote GCGS's billing insert, "Some people who drink water containing trihalomethanes in excess of the MCL over many years may experience problems with their liver, kidneys, or central nervous system, and may have an increased risk of getting cancer. Some people who drink water containedhaloacetic acids in excess of the MCL over many years may have an increased risk of getting cancer." Does our 30-years of drinking water supplied by GCSD constitute "over many years"? Has GCSD's failure to provide a water supply meeting the drinking water standard contributed to Ray's cancer?

So what is being done? Ground breaking on a new treatment process is due to begin this month. The expected completion date is July 2007. Meanwhile, we've been buying bottled water for over a year.

I saw a tired old man at the pharmacy yesterday. He was thin, as if he had lost a great deal of weight quickly so that his clothes no longer fit properly. He was stooped from pain, weakness, or bone degeneration; his fingers were gnarled from arthritis. His beard was long and untrimmed. He walked hesitantly, and used a metal cane. There was something familiar, but I didn't recognize him. Then I overheard the clerk ask for his birthdate, and was shocked to realized there are only about 6 months between us.

Medications. Ray depends on having the correct medication when he needs it. We try to keep ahead of the game, but don't always succeed. This week, I stopped at the pharmacy late on Wednesday to order refills of his nausea medications. These are not automatic refills -- each one must be approved by the doctor. The doctor requires 48 hours for refills. The insurance company complains if you refill too often. And we must monitor whether he has enough meds to get through the weekend. This time, the pharmacy fax got lost in the doctor's office. It was questionably until just a few minutes ago whether he would have the meds before Monday. By contrast, the pain meds ordered early Friday morning from a DIFFERENT doctor we ready at noon yesterday. The personalized attention of our local pharmacy -- faxing and refaxing prescription refill requests, obtaining the specific medication ordered by the physician, helping us through an emergency, getting us enough meds to last an entire vacation -- is a wonderful service under these circumstances. Would it be the same in a city, or if we had to rely on mail order? I doubt it.

Meanwhile, we have weathered the first week-and-then-some after chemotherapy, and life is beginning to look brighter. We will enjoy the time until the NEXT treatment, which should be the last. At least there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Keep praying!

Ray opened an email today from some friends down in Southern California. We met Mike when he was serving as a Boy Scouting Executive (yup, a professional Boy Scout!) and Ray and I were active in Boy Scouting at the local and County levels -- wow, that was a LOT of years ago! Then he met Sharon, got married, had a couple of kids, got a teaching credential, and moved back to the desert. He and Sharon now live in Yucca Valley, California -- near Joshua Tree National Park and on the bluffs above Palm Springs, etc.

At any rate, Mike and Sharon are walking in their local American Cancer Society Relay for Life, raising money for Cancer Research. They are walking to honor a fellow teacher and RAY STEVENS! It's a pretty impressive event -- a 24-hour event, where someone from each team is on the track every moment of those 24 hours. The relay typically begins with a Survivors Lap, and the lighting of luminaria which are given to honor (or in memory of) a specific cancer patient whose name appears on the luminaria. If you feel moved to contribute to Mike and Sharon's fundraising effort, send a check to
Mike Alberg
58763 Yucca Trail
Yucca Valley CA 92284
I suspect your check should be made payable to the American Cancer Society. Questions? Call Mike at 760-369-8503 or by cell phone at 760-333-9244. Alternatively, find the Relay for Life event in your own community, and make a contribution there. Check out RELAY FOR LIFE at the Americn Cancer Society website.

Keep praying!

Ray says, "After I get the chemotherapy, I'm just wiped out for days. But as bad as I feel, it's still nothing like it was the last time through." Yesterday while I was in Sonora he got up and got himself a couple of small meals, but by the end of the day was definitely ready for bed. This morning hie is up and out of bed -- a pleasure for both of us since he has been spending so much time in bed -- but has a touchy stomach. So I'll get him a nausea pill, and see how long he can stay awake. At least each day brings more energy and less nausea.

We both wait expectantly for the sunshine. We're promised a dry day on Thursday. This is such a change from our normal California winter -- two or three or four days of rain followed by several days of sunshine before the next rainy spell -- with longer and longer dry spells until by June the rain is gone altogether until autumn.

Keep praying! Give thanks!

Good heavens, it's April 2! We missed the change of the month altogether!! Too busy focusing on queasy tummy and that have-to's around the house that now must be done by one instead of two. No fun. Ray commented this morning that cancer sure gets in the way of life. I think he's getting bored with being cooped up, but not feeling well enough to get out and do anything, even to visit. We're also bemoaning todays switch to daylight saving time -- something I sincerely detest. About the time my body gets used to functioning on THIS schedule, it's time to switch back!

Sounds like we're in complaint mode today. It must be a reflection of the skies, which once again are heavy and gray. We will be on another track altogether in July when the thermometer sticks at something over 100 and there is not a cloud in sight!

Life reallly isn't bad. We just have to re-focus onto the good things that come into our life each day, and thank God for the days we have together.

Keep praying! Expect miracles!!

It has been a dreary Saturday. Ray's stomach kicked up late yesterday afternoon, about the same time that it began to REALLY rain. At 5:40 the power went out, and stayed out for two hours. Then it went out again at 9:00 and was out at least another two hours. This is just the sort of occasion for which we kept the wood stove and a small supply of dry firewood when we installed the propane heating system, so at least we could keep warm. Candles, kerosene lamps and flashlight provided light. If it didn't have to be cooked, it could be eaten -- although if I had wanted to play in the rain I could have used the barbeque. As a result, we are both tired.

Our rain is nothing to what they are getting in Hawaii. They have had the biblical 40 days and 40 nights, so I guess it is time for the sun to come out there. Today it has apparently obliged. My mother reports that there was a small lake in the back yard, but no damage in the house -- unlike the very upscale mall only a mile away which had water line breaks, walls collapsing, and the entire ground floor flooded ....